The Coming New Year

And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,
And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury
-Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.- Thomas Hood

In my heart I know this coming year will bring our family even more adversity. I wish this "New trial of time" would give me "hopes of a kindlier dozen" but we don't think it will be although we will hope for the best.

Oddly in the midst of all of this are some true positives - we have become closer than ever before. We have spent more time together in the past year than in the past five. I know for me because we range so widely in age, the impressions of my siblings from my youth were always there and they have changed as we spend more time together as adults. Another positive is that we are more thankful for smaller things - Christmas was a prime example. It was not extravagant and was probably the cheapest one in years but nobody cared. Also even though we always say "good bye, I love you" when one of us leaves or hangs up, I now tend to send random emails or leave notes just so they know it is not done as a habit but that I truly do love them.

So there will be no resolutions this year. It will be a day to day process with each day offering it's own challenges and idiosyncrasies and it will solely be up to me how to face each and everyone of them not to be forced by promises made when things were different. I don't need the guilt of breaking a resolution.

So I am off to knit out the old (sweater) and knit in the new (koolhaas hat). I will be back in January. And if you are like me and are not into resolutions try this...

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~ Benjamin Franklin What more could you really ask for.