Do You Believe?

Let Us Keep Christmas

Whatever else be lost among the years,

Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing;

Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,

Let us hold close one day, remembering

It's poignant meaning for the hearts of men.

Let us get back our childlike faith again

~Grace Noll Crowell

#2 daughter and I were curled up on the couch watching Rudolph the night before. #2 daughter is 13 years old and an honor roll student, so no dumby, but she is soooo naive. She still walks outside and just looks at birds flying over, clouds moving across the sky or stands listening to the wind blowing leaves and branches in total amazement...because of this she is not always the most graceful. She, however, has a huge capacity for love of all, forgiveness, understanding and I am in awe of this- she is completely and utterly innocent.

#1 daughter keeps telling me I need to wake her up to the real world because she is only going to get hurt. Maybe it is cowardly of me but I can not be the one to do that. In a time where kids are growing up long before they have too, I want her to enjoy this time as she will never get it back. Lacking naivity never stopped others from getting hurt so why would I want to take it from her.

But moving on...She said "Mom do you still believe in Santa Claus?"I sat there stunned because she asked. OH how to answer THAT question! I don't want to disillusion her but I don't want her getting her butt kicked in school she is after all 13! I don't want to tell her not to believe in anything. I want her to believe that all things are possible eventhough there are days I that want stay curled up in bed.

Like everyone we have our trials right now. Because we want to be mortgage free, the house we are building is draining the lifes blood out of us. Other things keep popping up that need the time and money before the house so I doubt we will be in it before Christmas as planned. My mother's cancer is taking it's toll, the drugs are dilapidating her body and I can't fix it. According to the DoD's report my daughter is going to be deployed again and won't be home for Christmas next year and I haven't even bought one Christmas present yet!

On the flip side...I had a mini stroke in the Spring yet I am doing fine now and I am here with my kids this Christmas. Before the end of the year I am going to marry a guy who would do anything for me or my kids. My mother is here to celebrate another Christmas with us. My daughter is here to celebrate this one. I have a roof over my head even if it is not the one I want. We have 3 freezers full of meat and vegetables, a pantry full of canned goods and a root cellar so we are NOT going to starve and some can be used for presents. And I have the wool and know how to make a lot of Christmas presents so the needles have been flying!

So how did I answer her question? ...I said - Yes, I do believe in Santa Claus. It may not be one person like they show but lot's of people doing little things which add up to big things. It is the believing in the miracle that wasn't suppose to happen. It is believing that there is a reason for everything, even though we may not know it right now. Like they say in Santa Clause 2 "Seeing isn't believing, Believing is seeing" So I told her to see all the miracles that happen at this time of year and continue to believe.

I am so thankful for this child, a rare gift, who with the simpliest question can smack me upside my head and wake me up. I believe in Santa Claus and I hope everyone else does too. Now I am off to knit more presents.