Monday, June 29, 2009

Healing

You don't heal from the loss because time passes, you heal because of what you do with the time." - Carol Crandall My mom passed away early last Tuesday. Once she made the decision not to fight anymore, Hospice was called in. Although they were only there for a short time, they were amazing. It is not a job I would be able to handle, but I have a ton of admiration for those special people who can.

Even though I know this is what Mom wanted and I don't blame her for wanting it, I was still devastated. Greedy selfish me wanted more time with her. Being an extremely independent and no nonesense person she would not want us sitting around crying and would consider it a waste of time.

So yesterday I went to visit a friend and picked a bunch of her rhubarb to freeze. When I came home I finally went out to view the garden. I decided I better not to let the last garden we planned together get lost in the weeds. #2 Nephew and I weeded around the cucumbers and beans. Then we picked some black raspberries and currants that had ripened without us being aware of it.

Today #2 daughter and I went back to walking. After the walk we laid down paper and mulch around the cuc's. We weeded around the broccoli and papered/mulched that. As I was cutting a path with the riding lawn mower, for #2 daughter to follow I drove by the mulberry and it was loaded. I grabbed a coffee can and started picking. In a couple of days when more ripen, we will lay tarps down and shake the tree. Mom and I have never gotten enough to make jam but I will this year. I walked across the field and the other tree which has more shade is no where near ripe so I will freeze the mulberries along with bags of currants and raspberries until I have enough to start making this years jam and jellies.

I wasn't sure I was going to can this year as I wasn't looking forward to doing it alone but #1 daughter said she would help. My mother would love knowing the skills and recipes she taught me will continue. And I am sure she will be there in spirit fanning us as we stir one hot pot after another of goodies.

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller

4 comments:

cyndy said...

My arms are around you, and I'm holding you in my heart...hang in there, take time for yourself each day, remember to breathe....and please call me whenever...

Both your parents hold a special part of M's and my heart..we remember and speak of them often, usually brings smiles to our faces and laughter. When I picture your mother in my mind--I see her laughing..or I'm waving to her as I drive by and she is mowing her lawn, or she sits in her chair making an afghan for someone special--I could go on...she will be missed..but never forgotten..(and has indeed become a part of my life, and M's.)

Sandie Knapp said...

I am so sorry Judy. My warmest sympathies for your loss. Although I never knew your Mother, I know she was a strong minded and determined woman or great spirit and with a love of life. She will always be with you through your memories and experiences together. Thank goodness we have those to hold on to. Every one is yours alone as no one else shares the exact same memories. I really like your little quote from Carol Crandall. It is oh so true, as I well know now.

Take care and keep well

Tam said...

Although I never knew your Mother, I can see she raised a very special daughter.
Sending hugs to you and your family....Tam

isabel sanchez said...

judy,may our lord hold you close in your time of lost.and my prayer is that you feel his peace and he give you rest.although far in nc,know that i will be praying for you and your family.your friend isabel